Back in Oxford - where your best isn't good enough since 1117
I finally made it back to Oxford after the holidays.
Seems like nothing has changed over here. It's still raining and the buildings are still old old old.
The 2nd trimester (or Hilary as it is officially called) started badly...as always in the morning, I was late and rushed down to my bike to get to the business school. I roughly had 2 minutes left, before some careers workshop was supposed to start. So I unlocked my bike and suddenly discovered that both the front and the rear tire was flat...dammit! Now I had to walk all the way to the school and of course I got there late. However, when I got there, I discovered that the workshop was cancelled, because of "miscommunication" - yeah right!
Thanks for making me get out of bed early, having run to the school in the rain, just to tell me that I can turn around and go back right away.
I just hope this is not a streak of bad luck!!!
Anyways, as the title of this post might already suggest, I found something quite funny about studying at Oxford University. I got it from an internet forum where students can post little comments on what it's like to study at the oldes english speaking university in the world. Enjoy! I read it and believe me, the sad thing is...almost all of the things said are actually true.
Long, but funny
You know you’re at Oxford if:
You’ve ever drunk your coffee while sitting on the toilet – to save time.
You’ve heard someone give an academic explanation of how they cooked their food.
You’ve ever violated three or more traffic laws per mile during your bike ride to the library – to save time.
If you find that aforementioned bike ride to be the most relaxing part of your day.
If you read for an hour before you realize your trouser legs are still rolled up from the bike ride.
If you’ve ever skipped a lecture to go read for the paper due in a week.
When the most annoying part of your day is the 45 seconds it takes for someone to stomp their wooden-soled boots through the library - as loud as they can.
If you dream about your research.
If you're more worried about losing your Bod card (library card) than your bank card.
Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you get some sleep.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
The Sun is too loud.
Trees begin threatening you.
You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
You explore the possibility of setting up an IV drip of espresso.
You wonder if brewing is an essential step in the consumption of coffee.
You and Reality file for divorce.
You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row about it, lose, and refuse to talk to yourself for the rest of the day.
You go to bed at 3AM and think, "Oh, it's an early night!"
Social life? What's that??
You talk to yourself in the 3rd person.
You write sentences on multiple choice tests.
It's okay to fail, so long as you are not alone.
You frequently catch yourself saying "What? We had work??"
Cheating became too difficult, so you took up telepathy.
Your books weigh more than you do.
You consider giving up going to the bathroom permanently to give you more time to study.
You skip breakfast to get in some extra cramming time to gain that "upper edge" on everyone else.
Pressed for time, you conclude an essay with, "And they lived happily every after. Amen."
You find that you spend more time sleeping in lectures than at home.
When you're watching TV, you feel guilty because not all of your work is done.
Breakfast?! What's that?
The bags under your eyes are heavier than the ones carrying your textbooks.
You always seem to have one continuous headache.
You haven't seen light in so long you glow in the dark.
You find yourself thinking "Without stress my life would be empty."
Your contacts are so thick that you have trouble closing your eyes.
You have a permanent caffeine-and-sleep-deprivation high.
You can measure your daily caffeine consumption in gallons.
You've taught yourself how to take naps while walking to your next class.
You think "getting high" is a reference to grades.
You're one of the few to know that the "perverted American Dream" isn't a porno.
You clean up your room and find a bed.
You wonder about things like what would happen if your car travelled at the speed of light and you turned your lights on.
It's the little things that confuse you.
You have the chemical formula and steps of synthesis for caffeine memorized.
To celebrate finishing your exams you decide to be really wild and go for coffee.
You hold "parties" to study.
You look forward to your parties.
Your fellow students look forward to your parties, attend them, and do actual studying there.
You think "social life" refers to life in Soviet Bloc nations during the Cold War
You talk in your sleep -- in Spanish.
You no longer speak English -- You speak a combination of English, German, Spanish, French, Portugese, Swedish, Dutch, Chinese, Russian, Norwegian, Hebrew, Arabic, Japanese, Korean, and Polish.
Fellow students understand and use the same combined language.
You make a date to do homework together and you actually do.
A good night's sleep is 5 hours
You have theological discussions at parties
You have theoretical physics discussions at parties
You spend all your time complaining about your work, then do it hurriedly because you want to get to bed and don't know where all the time went
You look forward to arguing
You have no idea who the drug dealers are
You consider sweet tarts, chocolate, and caffeine drugs (so actually, you DO know who the drug dealers are, in a way...)
You forget to breathe
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